Dear Blank, Please Blank

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon this website.  There are a few inappropriate ones here and there, but these things are so clever and funny!  Some of them are kind of sad or weird, but whatever.  It's still entertaining as heck.  Here are a few samples:

Dear doorknob,

Almost... just... please just... TURN... I want to get out of here!

Sincerely, just put on hand lotion. 

 

Dear cold weather,

Thank you for making me feel like a dragon when I breathe.

Sincerely, a kid at heart. 

 

Dear hairdresser with a neon blue and green fo-hawk,

Don't get any ideas.

Sincerely, I just want a trim. 

 

Dear doctor,

No it is NOT ok for you to google my symptoms on your iphone.

Sincerely, what was med school for? 

 

Dear world,

I've moved.

Sincerely, the Muffin Man. 

 

Dear educated and skilled Titanic engineers,

Seriously?

Sincerely, Noah.

 

Dear Playgrounds,

Please become adult sized. Just because I'm 20 doesn't mean I wouldn't have as much fun as I did when I was 12.

Sincerely, Keith H