Dear Blank, Please Blank

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon this website.  There are a few inappropriate ones here and there, but these things are so clever and funny!  Some of them are kind of sad or weird, but whatever.  It's still entertaining as heck.  Here are a few samples:

Dear doorknob,

Almost... just... please just... TURN... I want to get out of here!

Sincerely, just put on hand lotion. 

 

Dear cold weather,

Thank you for making me feel like a dragon when I breathe.

Sincerely, a kid at heart. 

 

Dear hairdresser with a neon blue and green fo-hawk,

Don't get any ideas.

Sincerely, I just want a trim. 

 

Dear doctor,

No it is NOT ok for you to google my symptoms on your iphone.

Sincerely, what was med school for? 

 

Dear world,

I've moved.

Sincerely, the Muffin Man. 

 

Dear educated and skilled Titanic engineers,

Seriously?

Sincerely, Noah.

 

Dear Playgrounds,

Please become adult sized. Just because I'm 20 doesn't mean I wouldn't have as much fun as I did when I was 12.

Sincerely, Keith H

O Mother, Where Art Thou?

or those of you who have seen "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" this is for you!

Yesterday at church, I was a substitute teacher in the children's class, called Primary.  My mom is a secretary in Primary, and she was sitting in the back row.  I was in the very front.  At some point during the lesson, I turned around to look at her and noticed she was nodding off.  I tried to whisper to her, "Go to sleep!"  She looked at me funny, and mouthed, "What?"  With very exaggerated expressions, I mouthed, "GOOO TOOO SLEEEP!"  She still didn't get it, so I turned all the way around in my seat and started mouthing the words with a huge emphasis, but before I could get the second word out, I realized what the situation reminded me of.  My mom got the same thought at the same time apparently, because she started laughing, and I did too.  I had to turn around to keep from causing a complete disturbance.

Of course, we were reminding ourselves of this scene:

Over and out,
Krista